So Many Shirts and Only One Body

Where I chronicle the multitudinous array of t-shirts of various pictorials and witty sayings. Also posts of wonderment!

Monday, October 30, 2006

"Feed Me, Syemour!"

I'm glad to announce that I finally have a feed subscription because... I love you.
And because I'm progressive like that.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

You Wear What You Eat

I'm all for the the well-being for animals... I'm okay with vegetarians and vegans but telling me what to eat just pisses me off. It's my choice, damn it. Stay out of my mouth PETA.

Punch Apparel has a clever t-shirt to bite your thumbs at those who would control what you eat. If you're feeling bastardly, wear it proudly at a Buddhist convention. Just expect a crappy turnout when that karmic wheel spins round and kicks you in the ass.

Tees are printed on American Apparel and if you order now, shipping anywhere in the US is free!

Monies: US$16.99

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Love is...

... a many-splendored thing.
... in the air.
... murder.
... all you need.
... love is love.
... not abuse.
... involved in Kurt's death somehow.
... is blind.
... totally punk rock.

Monies: US$17

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Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Persistence of Dali

Surrealism is synonymous with Salvador Dali. He painted The Persistence of Memory and The Temptation of St. Anthony, paintings, which endured during his life and long after his death in 1989. But nothing called so much attention as the man himself, especially his 'stache.

Boston lads, theAnti printed a shirt in tribute to the Great Master. Not only did they choose to the image of a shock Dali with his sweet 'stache but they also added a small inside joke in the form of an ant.* The tee also has sizes for the ladies.

Monies: US$12 (men) US$15 (women)

*Dali had a thing for ants. When he was a wee lad he had a pet bat, which he discovered dead and covered with ants. Henceforth, he had a fascination and a fear of ants.

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Friday, October 27, 2006

Rated "R" for Rad

I can't be spending my money or wait around for an illegal movie torrent to download. I need to make a quick decision on whether I would wanna see "Attack of the Big-Boobed Hooker" or "Snakes on a Plane Again." That's why the trailer for a movie is important because people make snap judgment on appearance.

David Malki! of Wondermark have come up with a nice idea for a t-shirt for such an occasion. Let people decide who you really are on the inside by your superficial fashion savvy. Would you want to be available for everyone (PG) or just a slutty select few (R)?

It's not available now but you can pre-order the t-shirts. The shirts are printed on American Apparel Jersey tee. If that doesn't whet your appetite, there's also a new Where is my Elephant? printed on an American Apparel ringer. It looks snazzy.

Monies: US$16

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Monday, October 23, 2006

I Scream, You Scream, We Scream

In honor of the tenth anniversary of Scream, Alex Dakoulas, a nice guy and talented artist, pays tribute by adding a twist to the well-known image of Drew Barrymore's frightened mug. The t-shirt is printed on a silver American Apparel material and retails for US$18. Perfect for Halloween.

Monies: US$18

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Threadless Find (A Revisitation Edition): Rayguns

So Rayguns isn't exactly a new find but it's nice to revisit previous work that won the people's hearts. Wear a tee that extols the beauty of interplanetary warfare.

Oh, and Threadless is having a US$10 sale for its normal line t-shirts and US$20 for all Threadless Selects. Offer ends this Wednesday.

Monies: US$10!!! ('til Wednesday)

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Friday, October 20, 2006

"I'm Mad As Hell and I'm Not Gonna Take It!"

Bad day at the office? Are you one who thinks Office Space is a documentary? It's a good thing it's already the weekend. But what if Monday rolls around like a bad penny, then what?

Nonono... put down the noose. And the gun. I'm talking about revolution, man. Revolution through fashion.

Tank Theory has a lineup called Army of Darkness. It's a collaboration between Zach Johnsen and Adam Amengual, where images of disgruntled office workers holding various weapons. My favorite, White Collar Revolt, features a well-dressed man with a chainsaw. It's a silkscreened print on either a traditional fitted tee or a slim fitted tee.

Monies: US$23 (traditional fit) US$25 (slim fit)

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Thursday, October 19, 2006

It Alive! Alive!! And It's Blue!!!

DURKL (hey, it rhymes with Urkel!) has a Halloween treat for youse. A limited edition Franken DURKL* printed on a 100% cotton tee. T-shirt comes with custom hang tags and other surprises**.

Monies: US$25.99

*not related to the other Franken dude from you know where.
**might include lawyer's subpoena from General Mills (tag line: kneel before Mills!)

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Dude Abides

You gotta love devotion. Especially from the fans, when they chose to create a festival on one of your body of work. Case in point: Lebowski Fest, where Lebowski aficionados can gather in the guise of their favorite character from the film, where they can bowl or drink white Russians... maybe bowl while drinking white Russians (bowling + alcohol = fun fun fun!)

And if you can't make it to their festivals, then buy the merchandise to prove you're there in spirit.

But these are not merch that you poo-poo upon! Designs are illustrated by Bill Green, who has an amazing body of quality work to back up my statements.

My favorite is the latest from Green that is screen-printed on a 100% heavy-weight pre-shrunk cotton. The Abide t-shirt is done in the style of Fairey's Obey. Methinks this is has a better instruction to take heed. It also comes in a hoodie. which is screen-printed on a 50/50 Jerzees.

Monies: US$15 (t-shirt) US$35 (hoodie)

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

To Catch a Predator's Attention

I don't declare this but I like NBC's Dateline: To Catch a Predator. There's nothing like seeing scores of males of all ethnicity, social standing and not avid watches of previous episodes of TCAP, being caught like pedophilic deers in a camera's red glare. If you have HD TV, you can make out each individual dotted sweat on them under the scrutiny of Chris Hansen's disappointing stare.

Wouldn't it be great if one of the decoy who baited the pedophile were to appear before him wearing this t-shirt from Nerdy Shirts?

Monies: US$17.99

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Monday, October 16, 2006

Threadless Find: House of Freaks

This week's new t-shirts from Threadless were good. There was Fantastic Typewriter and In Case Of Zombies... which I really like but I'm gonna have to go with House of Freaks by Matt Lyon. I've followed Lyon's work for a while ever since he did Lovely Fabric from Monsieur T.

Doesn't House of Freaks sort of give you the Castlevania vibe? And that flying witch, you see on the top-right, is printed on the back of the t-shirt, which makes it even more awesome. It's printed on American Apparel so it's a little more than what you usually pay for the regular tee but it's worth it.

Monies: US$25

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Sunday, October 15, 2006

I'm Sorry... What Did You Say You Do Like A Girl?

It's one thing to hear a girl say she fucks like her gender but it's another thing when she wears that proclamation proudly. And you know it's an entirely new thing when a man wears that very same proclaimation as well.

I must confess, I have never read Margaret Mason's Mighty Girl blog before but after seeing this t-shirt, I'm a convert.

Monies: US$20

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Saturday, October 14, 2006

En Garde!

There's something about this t-shirt that appeals to me. It's not so much about the image of a skeleton wielding a sword but it looks like it's in the style of "dia de los muertos." art. The Swordsman is printed on a melange jersey, giving it that retro look. It's sold, along with other fine items, at glarkware.

Monies: US$20

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

A Wink is as Good as a Nod


It's not enough for Richard Stevens to have Diesel Sweeties to be running in newspapers through United Feature Syndicate, he also has a sweet store to foist his cottony goodness on your naked supple body.

DS is hocking Halloween t-shirts... with new exceptions. Non-pixelated t-shirts by Jess Fink and Vera Brosgol grace the DS Halloween lineup.

I like the Wink the Ghost t-shirt (printed on a Hanes Beefy) because it glows in the dark like a scene from an investigative news report where they shine a blacklight in the hotel room and you can see copious amount of blood and semen everywhere! I mean, everywhere! There's even some on the freakin' remote control and... holy crap! How did they get that on the ceiling?

And look at him. Wink the Ghost is such a player. He'll sex you up in the middle of the night like an incubus, which is also a band, whose music was playing when they showed the investigative hotel room piece.

Monies: US$18

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"Do You Like Scary Movies?"

In the spirit of Halloween, here's a shirt for you to don instead of the tacky rent-a-costume that actually make you a much easier target on the road.

Fright-Rags is a site run by avid horror junkies who want to wear something that would make Wes Craven proud. Their t-shirts are silk-screened on either Anvil 100% cotton or Gildan Ultra cotton material. I like the classics like Universal's Frankenstein. Look at that image of the Monster coming out of the shadows. Just a few recognizable details like the bolts and the forehead and you know who it is.

That makes this shirt and the other line-up worth the buy.

Monies: US$15

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Threadless Find: Haikus Are Easy But...


New from Threadless Type.
A wordplay about haikus.
Damn. Not enough syl...

Monies: US$12

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Monday, October 09, 2006

Unicorn Power!

Hey kids! Wanna summon unicorns to wreck bloody revenge of impalment on your enemies? May I suggest a Unicorn Power! t-shirt from Nicholas Gurewitch's absurdist and dadaist webcomic, The Perry Bible Fellowship.

Be the envy of your peers! Be the harbinger of doom to your detractors! Be the cock of the walk for the ladies!
Monies: US$20

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Saturday, October 07, 2006

Weekend Update

I think it's about time to do this.

I might not be as establish as the other t-shirt sites out there and sweet Moses, this blog layout is found wanting but what separates me from the others is... well, I love you very much. Yes, even you creepy Slavic who touches himself. Wash your hands and give me a hug.

So, I think I've earned the right and I've put up additional information on my complete profile if you want to send me your sweet sweet t-shirts to review, clothe a naked Asian or contribute to my ever-growing t-shirt collection. It's not guaranteed it'll appear on the post but you sending it greatly increases your chances.

Examples of what you can send me: visually appealing, thought-provoking apparel.

Examples of what not to send me: cafepress, cliche slogans or designs, weird-stained shirts that smell like a dead hobo.

Just shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you my size (psst. it's a medium) and address. You can also send me nice / profane / feedback-y e-mails as well, if you're so incline.

But no spam. If you send me spam, I'll invoke one of the Old Ones (preferably one who doesn't bring with it the enslavement of mankind and the eventual destruction of the world) and we wouldn't want that now, do we?



keyser1812[at]sbcglobal[dot]net

We ♥ Katamari T-Shirts

People ♥ things like New York, penises and Katamari Damacy. Panic Goods Apparel have obtained the rights from Keita Takahashi and Ryo Kimura to print out official Katamari t-shirts.

I ♥ to wear the elephant t-shirt. Don't judge me. It's a personal choice.

And Panic Goods came up with a novel method for purchasing. Just click on the shirt you want and drag it to the shopping cart section at the bottom of the page. Why isn't other t-shirt sites not applying the "click-and-drag" is beyond me.

Monies: US$24.95

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Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich

I look at this shirt and I say to myself, quite loudly and in an English-accented baritone, "what a clever idea from Oddica!"

"And if you hurry now," I continued but in a slight contralto, "you can type in the coupon code, "boo" (lowercase sans quotes) and the good people at Oddica will shave off US$5."

Monies: US$20

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Friday, October 06, 2006

The Sideways Eight

I know I'm late on this but Imaginary Foundation has a new lineup of trippy clothing. I like the Infinite t-shirt and the Metaphysical Anarchy also appeal to me.

Who needs acid when you can wear it?

Monies: US$30

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